nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
