Dude my mom stole all your condoms
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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