What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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