Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Randomize
