I must be too annoying 4 u.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
