I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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