you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
