your room smells of hookers.
And success
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
