trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
