Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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