I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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