took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
