after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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