puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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