the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
