He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
