So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
