walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
