that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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