Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
