it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
What a fucking waste of an outfit
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
