Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
