Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
