you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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