Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Randomize
