D3 body, D1 cock
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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