Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
