i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
