HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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