oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
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