He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
