Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
dude. I can hear the air.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
