She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
COCAINE IS GR8
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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