accomplished twins. life is a go
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
you're hired as official boob wrangler
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize