I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
