I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
