Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
