I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
