umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
