i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
i need some magic done to my vagina
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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