cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
