at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
