I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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