do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
