Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
