reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
