Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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