He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
