Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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