dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Randomize
