How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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