my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
He kissed a someone with a penis
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
