If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
The power of my boobs compel you
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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